Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Oh, there you are!

Oh, hello. You're still here? Me too.
 
Where have a been? Home.
 
No, not much exciting happened.
 
Why haven't I blogged?
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.
.
.
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I have no idea.
 
Well that's not entirely true. I do think I figured it out. The last time I blogged was September, shortly after I sent the kids to school. All 3 of my kids to school... for the entire day. So you would think I would need some interaction, some one to talk to, an outlet while the kids were gone. As it turns out (and I didn't really understand this at the time I was writing frequently) that my blog was an escape for me while I was home with the kids. I needed someone to talk to, I needed something else to do besides take care of little children all day, I needed to show off my talents a little bit. While I was writing my blog I was daydreaming about the day I would send all my kids to school and have days to myself to write and create. 
 
But they left, I sent them off to school and the last thing I wanted to do was be at home. If you read my blog you know I love my kids. My kids and sewing is really all I talk about. But with my kids safely tucked away in their classrooms I was free for 6 hours to spend however I chose. However I chose usually meant a lot of housework, because that needs to get done and now I can do it without the kids under my feet, but it also means getting out of my house without a bag full of snacks, potty breaks and noise. So up until the time that winter set in and it got horribly cold (because it does that where I live) I was out and about and not at home on my computer or even at the sewing machine, even though I still love to create. The kids kept me at home a lot and though we would fill our days with a lot of fun and a lot of growth and learning, I still needed an outlet, and that was blogging and sewing (Mostly. Also a lot of Netflix).
 
I have to pick the kids up in 15 minutes and I miss them. I miss my husband too. My house is very clean and quite (for now... in 20 minutes it will be littered with backpacks, wet boots and homework) and I've crossed off everything on my to do list that was important to do. And yet, I feel like I've accomplished very little today. I don't really want to go back in time and relive when they were young, that was hard. And I probably wouldn't tell my younger self to "appreciate it while they are young because you'll miss them when they are gone to school". Because she knows that already, and she also knows that what she is doing right now (the diapers, the crying, the messes) is dang hard and she would love a break but she has to get back to work, she is needed. So despite the fact that I haven't done much in the way of molding and shaping the live of 3 little ones in the past 6 hours, I am proud of my success. It's silly, I know, but I feel like a survivor!
 
It's good. Summer will come eventually and they will be home ALL DAY and I will wonder how I ever did it before. In fact in about 4 minutes I'll wonder as I'm shuffling papers from school and starting dinner and telling them for the 15th time "NO computer until homework is DONE". So really not much has changed, I am just able to process my thoughts, clean my house, get my shopping done and have a cup of tea all in a much more organized and quite manner.
 
P.S. If anyone knows of a part time job between the hours of 9am - 3pm, let me know... it does get awfully quite around here sometimes :)